I Can't Live Without You
by OneFrighteningLittleMonster123
Summary: Jacob breaks down and talks about his heartbreak. OneShot. Read and Review Please.


Why is it so easy for you to ignore? Ignore the way your pulse quickens in my presence, the way you make my heart ache. The fact that you can't give me everything doesn't bother you? The fact that things turned out so cheated, so wrong, so broken doesn't haunt you in your nightmares? You tell me you can't live without me, but then you pull him closer. You hide yourself within walls you built with his help, with the voices that told you things were right when they weren't. You act like you know what you're doing, you think it's all going to work out. You have no idea what you're doing.

Take me away from the this distorted world. Back when we used to laugh and the sun shone and you called me beautiful. When we would be lost in our own world and he couldn't see the looks you gave me. I almost (almost almost almost almost, the word repeated like a mantra from some distant part of me that wishes I didn't care so much) almost wish he would never have come back. That you would still be broken. That way I could be the one to put you together again.

You pretend the thought never crossed your mind. That you weren't steps away from loving me. You say that we're only friends, but then tell me why it hurts you so much to leave me. In this one sided argument, you think reason is on your side.

Let me be the one to protect you, to carry you to safety. Let me be the one to stand over you and whisper soothing words in your ear. Let me be your lone wolf, your best friend, your world. Let me look after you like I always have. I want to be your shield, but you think you have something stronger.

I let you into my world, thinking you'd let me into yours too. You were the first person I saw in the morning and the last person I saw at night. But all that time, was I just a substitute for him? Was I just an empty void you needed to fill until he came home? But at the time it didn't matter. I still pushed myself just to get you to smile.

You act like pain is softer than pleasure, that the only one who hurts when he is around is me. You pity me. But I can hear your heart beat speed while mine falls to pieces, and when you think I've stopped loving you, it screams. I know that you crave my attention, that your head hurts when I'm not around. You tell yourself over and over again that we are two separate people. That there isn't a pull stronger than gravity that attracts us. You're wrong.

I watch you smile as I hold you in my arms. I can feel the heat and the friction, the kind that doesn't come from my skin or my blood. I can see the line growing thinner and thinner until it disappears completely in an ocean of secrets, hurt, questions, hope. I watch as you realize you have a decision to make, fire or ice. You've always known the choice was coming but you put it off and put it off. I watch as you dig a deeper grave for my heart.

You think that letting go is so simple. You think that you can cut away all the unnecessary strings and tie what remains in a neat, pretty bow. You think that a solution will come to you, a way for everyone to be happy. But do you know I'd go to hell and back just to be with you for one minute, to see you smile?

I take your hand with all of my strength and pull you into my heart, I welcome you into my family, because you are my family, my light, my eternity. I let you become one of us without any trouble, while every step closer you come, another shard of my spirit breaks. I let you pet me when I'm soft, watch me when I sleep, keep from a battle I know I can win. You act like this isn't hurting all of us, when I know that we're surrounded by broken eggshells.

Your choice gets harder each time you kiss me, each time your heart betrays how you think you should feel.

Let me burn you. Let me change you. Let me hold you, kiss you, be with you, laugh with you, take you, _love _you. Let me tell you my deepest secrets and you tell me yours. Decide to keep them. Because I want _you, _and only _you._ I am _yours, _and only _yours. _

You act like its so easy to forget me. Like you can cut away the part of your heart that belongs to me. You pretend that your choice has been made, but your smile burns holes in my chest when you find out I'm still around. Like I could forget you. Like I could stop it. You act like we're not a tornado spinning out of control, like there won't be casualties and gaps. You act like we're not made for each other, like we're not meant for each other, like our bodies aren't in perfect synchronization. You think I can just forget the way you feel. Like we will move on. Like we can live.

But I can't live without you.

You act like we weren't made for each other.

Take me in your arms and just hold me there.

Listen to your heart.

Let it _be. _


End file.
